head on
by jamie rudd
Life can change in the blink of an eye. I learnt that the hard way on the morning of the 12th of July, 2018, whilst returning into Cheltenham after dropping my dogs off at the kennels. An oncoming car carelessly crossed into my lane and in a split second, the resulting 50mph head on collision turned my world upside down, literally.
The force of the impact fractured my lower back and neck in two places. Both of my legs were broken at the ankles and shins, a compound fracture in my right thigh causing great concern. My left arm was broken from the wrist upwards, and five ribs, one of which punctured my right lung. In that moment I was left sipping on what I believed to be my last breaths. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, I remember using every ounce of strength left within me to try and remain calm. After three agonizing hours, the efforts of the air ambulance, fire service and two heroic passers-by collectively saved my life that day. I was finally cut free from the wreckage and rushed to Bristol Southmead Hospital where hours of complex surgeries over the next two days stabilised my condition. Finally, I woke to an audience of specialist nurses, doctors’, family and friends in the unforgettable ICU ward, my life hanging in the balance.
Whilst laying in the sterile environment of Southmead’s ICU ward, unable to move, the enormity of what had happened to me hit home. With tubes connected to, and from every orifice, and my body broken all over, the hardest times were after 8pm when visiting hours had finished. I was left cocooned inside my own mind, dark thoughts wrestling to take over emanating negative visions of what my future might look like. I remember one of my lowest points waking distressed after a particularly sleepless night, tormented by morphine induced nightmares. As the morning broke and nurses switched shifts ready for the morning rounds, I lay there mentally exhausted, merely grateful to have made it through the night. Something changed in me that morning. Maybe I’d hit rock bottom and there was nowhere else to go? But the realisation of the extreme journey ahead of me had certainly become very real. Deep down I knew I had a positive mindset, but the reality was, I was overwhelmed with fear. I was scared and knew I needed help to get through whatever lay ahead.
My immediate support network proved invaluable at that time, but I also knew I needed to find inspiration, if not some kind of escapism from my hospital bed albeit vicariously. I began to search for other people who had beaten the odds and overcome major trauma to thrive again. Inspiring and up-lifting stories which in turn would give me the foundations to believe that I could do the same. I read about an incredible guy called Matt Long, a Firefighter from New York who had been crushed by a double decker bus whilst cycling to the station one morning. Somehow he survived and against the odds began to rebuild his life, completing the Boston marathon just two years later. And the resilient Aaron Baker, who after surviving a motocross across accident, learned to walk again despite being told he had a one-in-a-million chance due to the severity of his spinal cord injury.
I spent the following weeks trawling the internet with my one good arm, reading, watching, and marvelling at how powerful the human spirit can be. And it wasn’t just people overcoming a traumatic experience, there were people simply thriving at life, doing extraordinary things and realising their dreams. Not only did the stories make me feel good, but they also gave me hope when I needed it most. I thought ‘if they can help me feel this way, maybe they could do the same for other people on their own journey of recovery’.
Around a year later, I heard about a man who had decided to walk the length of the Zambezi River to mark turning 70 years young. Although still heavily in recovery, I was gaining in strength, so I arranged to meet David Lemon close by in the Cotswold village of Sheepscombe where he happened to be housesitting. His story of achieving the unthinkable, putting himself out there for self-fulfilment to prove the naysayers and internal demons from an early age wrong, was just what I was looking for.
It felt like there was so much that could be learned from listening to David talk about his reasons and motives. What if we could delve deeper into the mindset of inspirational people and gain a deeper understanding of these unseen traits which often them forward in life? In that moment, the SoulKind Journal was born.
Then, in 2019, whilst still in the thick of my own rehabilitation, I met a courageous guy called Ed Jackson, a former professional rugby player who suffered a spinal cord injury after a freak accident diving into a swimming pool in 2016. His story was similar to mine in that there was major uncertainty as to whether he would ever regain the use of his legs, yet he was also one of the lucky ones who was able to walk again. One year on, Ed summitted Mt. Snowdon and set up his foundation Millimeters2Mountains (M2M) which helps individuals who have experienced trauma redefine their limitations and take a step towards a brighter future.
Interviewing Ed resonated deeply with me and afterwards he said, “We will get ‘you’ up a mountain one day.” It hit me hard because in that moment I didn’t know, or whole heartedly believe that it would be possible. But in April 2023, 5 years after my own accident, we sumitted Snowdon together. Later that year in October as part of the M2M community, we trekked up to Larke Le Pass in Nepal at 5180m. I was taken aback reaching the pass and watching a group of incredible new friends all achieve something for themselves, a powerful moment which I will never forget and only existed because of SoulKind.
Now a Community Interest Company, our mission is to help those who have faced physical or mental trauma, or challenging life events, re-discover purpose through the power of outdoor adventure, mentor workshops & our storytelling community.